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Blagues et humour Voici des blagues et un peu d'humour.

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Vieux 2003-01-08, 06h47   #1
Aristiana
Dieu
 
Avatar de Aristiana
 
Date d'inscription: octobre 2002
Messages: 12 590
Husband 1.0

Ma revanche! Mouahahahaha


Dear Tech Support:


Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to
the accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe,
flower and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the
product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other
valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and
OperaNight 6.1 and installs new undesirable programs such as
PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4 and
ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and
invariably crashes the system.


Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1or
HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband
1.0, but this is all purpose utility is of limited effectiveness.
Can you help, please!!!!


Dear Jane:


This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is
mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from
Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is
merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However, Husband 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few
applications as possible.


Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend
5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden
operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to
emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained.


It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files
from the system, once installed. Any new program files can only
be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited
memory. Error messages are common and a normal part of Husband
1.0. In desperation to play some of their old time favorite
applications, or to get new applications to work, some women have
tried to install Boyfriend 6.0 or Husband 2.0.


However, these women end up with more problems than encountered
with Husband 1.0. Look in your manual under Warnings:
Divorce/Child Support. You will notice that this program runs
very poorly, and comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3. I recommend
you keep Husband 1.0 and just learn the quirks of this strange
and illogical system. Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I
might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General
Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of Husband
1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part
of the operating system.


Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and
problems, regardless of root cause. To activate this great
feature enter the command C I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME. Sometimes
Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command.
Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and
Flowers/Chocolates 7.8. Avoid excessive use of this feature.
Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs, and
ultimately YOU may have to give a CI APOLOGIZE command before
the system will return to normal operations.


Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence
2.5, or worse yet, to Beer 6.0. Beer 6.0 is a very bad program
that causes Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files and
SnoringLoudly wave files that are very hard to delete. Save
yourself some trouble by following this tech tip! Just remember!
The system will run smoothly, and take the blame for all GPFs,
but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run
all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran.


Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory
and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying
additional software to improve performance. I personally
recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in
conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0
running smoothly. After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will
become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features
such as FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.


A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install
MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application, and will
cause selective shutdown of the operating system. Husband 1.0
will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0
is uninstalled. I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for
choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish
you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to
fully enjoy this product!

Clo.

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Vieux 2003-08-01, 13h08   #2
Jaerofthelake
Dieu mineur
 
Avatar de Jaerofthelake
 
Date d'inscription: octobre 2002
Localisation: here
Messages: 8 724
Re: Husband 1.0

Mouhahahahahaha
:lol

Vas falloir demander la version gay a Gabriel.



The loremaster

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Vieux 2003-08-01, 16h46   #3
SaurielOfTheDarkOmen
Dieu mineur
 
Avatar de SaurielOfTheDarkOmen
 
Date d'inscription: novembre 2002
Localisation: Montreal, qc
Messages: 9 945
Re: Husband 1.0

bah la la!!

Pour la version Gay c'est le contraire,

J'ai boyfriend 5 et je suis pas capable d'instaler husband 1.0, le programme disparait mystérieusement de mon ordinateur pour aller sur celui de voisin

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Vieux 2003-08-01, 18h07   #4
Aristiana
Dieu
 
Avatar de Aristiana
 
Date d'inscription: octobre 2002
Messages: 12 590
Re: Husband 1.0

*rire*

De toute façon Huband 1.0 est illégal selon le pape! hehehe

Clo.

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Vieux 2003-08-01, 21h06   #5
SaurielOfTheDarkOmen
Dieu mineur
 
Avatar de SaurielOfTheDarkOmen
 
Date d'inscription: novembre 2002
Localisation: Montreal, qc
Messages: 9 945
Re: Husband 1.0

Oui, mais sur la plateforme Canada NT, il va bientôt le devenir

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